Spam Talk

[theschweetgal]

I was excited for a second there...

[MilkChocolateCandy]

Well, if there's "volatile organic compounds" it might be alive. But you wouldnt want to eat it.

[theschweetgal]

Ew... I bet my dog would love that recipe.

[MilkChocolateCandy]

Well, here's the full recipe.

One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Two cups all purpose flour.
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish shaped crackers.
Fish shaped candies.
Fish shaped solid waste.
Fish shaped dirt.
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Pull and peel licorice.
Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
One cup lemon juice.
Alpha resins.
Unsaturated polyester resin.
Fiberglass surface resins.
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Nine large egg yolks.
Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
One cup granulated sugar.
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.
Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
One large rhubarb.
One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
Slaughter electric needle injector.
Cordless electric needle injector.
Injector needle driver.
Injector needle gun.
Cranial caps.
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

If you took away all the weird ingredients, youd probably have a pretty good cake ... considering the main ingredient is a chocolate cake mix.

[theschweetgal]

brb, baking this.

[MilkChocolateCandy]

Good luck acquiring all those needle injectors.

[theschweetgal]

Okay, I've got most of the ingredients.
Does anyone want to donate some cranial caps?

[MilkChocolateCandy]

I don't have any.

Portal and Portal 2 are a lot more hilarious when you know what a lot of the big words actually mean. "Volatile" means "evaporating readily at normal temperatures and pressures."

[theschweetgal]

I know.
Delicious c:

[MilkChocolateCandy]

Remember the vitrified test chambers? Vitrification is filling something with molten glass. This is a bit horrifying when you realize that whoever was inside the testchambers probably didn't have time to get out. Actually I think theres a custom mappack somewhere where you defeat GLaDOS, which sends the nuclear reactor into overheating and then the whole facility starts filling up with molten glass as you try to escape.

[theschweetgal]

That sounds like fun, actually. Gah, I never had the chance to play through Portal, but I watched some walkthroughs. I played Portal 2 twice, I think. My brother's friend let us borrow it. -TooPoorForVideogames

[MilkChocolateCandy]

The mappack was actually pretty damn hard. Even worse than Portal: Prelude.

Oh, Portal: Prelude. It's hard as hell, even with godmode. I once spent 20 minutes straight trying to fling myself onto a ledge/platform (can't remember which) then gave up and just noclipped. At least GLaDOS gave you a fighting chance. Also towards the end the facility gets invaded by manhacks which makes no sense.

[theschweetgal]

That sounds insane. Interesting, yes, but insane.

[MilkChocolateCandy]

Also, the voice-acting was definitely very strange. I think its because the developers were French and weren't able to get proper voice-actors in the time they wanted to release it. Since they weren't fluent in spoken English, they ran the lines through a text-to-speech program. Though, actually GLaDOS (in the short time she appears) was pretty good, although it was definitely weird when they mixed up her lines with the ones in Portal so it sounded like she was two different characters.

[theschweetgal]

Interesting.